Hey everyone!
These past months have gone by so quickly. Hard to grasp the time hey.
Its been quite the ride for sure. SBS (School of Biblical Studies) has been more than I could've hoped for when it comes to what I've already learned from the books that we've studied so far.
God has challenged me in more ways than one and its brought up a lot of emotions as well as healthy thoughts I think.
One theme, or topic he's been bringing to the surface for me is "being real and genuine". This not implying that I've been a facade haha, but I'll explain.
God has been speaking to me about being real in my wrestle with him. Whether its my emotions and the freedom to express, or being genuine in thankfulness.
Growing up in a very Christian environment has been one of the greatest gifts, yet has brought its own challenges in trying to seperate what I've been told and what I actually believe in myself. (What God has revealed to me personally, instead of what someone else has told me.)
This time in SBS gives me the opportunity to really be able to pin point things I've been told and to then bring those things to God in hopes of Him confirming them for me or for him to reveal something new to me. This I think will lead me into really finding the more intimate and personal aspect on my end of the relationship.
This same Christian environment has always told me specific things to be thankful for, like the food I eat, or the clothes I have or family around me...so whenever I'm told to be thankful and to thank God about things I often find myself feeling pressured to thank for these things and if I don't, then I haven't expressed enough gratitude.
What I've now learned and challenged myself with is taking more time to stop and actually thank God for the things I feel genuinely thankful for. And sometimes I might be feeling extreme gratitude for the food I have or the clothes on my body, but perhaps one day I feel genuine thankfulness for beauty in creation or a good book, or great conversation or paperwork being dealt with successfully and it doesn't mean I have to add the food and clothes to that moment of gratitude. I really don't know where this distorted idea of coming to God in thankfulness came from, but I'm happy its coming up now.
Also this just reminds me of a similar issue with prayer. Sometimes I get frustrated with the term itself, because as a child we see how "the perfect prayer" is "performed". What are powerful words to use- what is the spiritual vocabulary, when to use which tone of voice, what names of God to use etc. And it can become challenging to make the switch once you make the decision to follow Jesus for yourself. So these days I might just say "talking to Jesus" instead of "prayer" just to keep it in a genuine place and centered in an actual intimate friendship and relationship. Not saying the term always gets to me, because sometimes its just easier for some reason to still keep it personal even if the term is still there haha. Sorry if this seems confusing for you.
Another thing related to being real and genuine.
That same Christian environment has created expectations for myself to be the perfect Christian. This a result of actually being called by that title and people coming to me for prayer and advice and making it harder for myself to actually wrestle with God in the open. But my friend said something really wise the other day. She said that I shouldn't worry too much about my wrestle becoming someone else's wrestle, because God is with that person as well and who seeks- will find.
I really want to believe that.
No one's faith depends on mine- even when discipling people. It can actually be more loving towards others to have the freedom to be honest with my doubts or the things of God that I don't really understand, since then they can actually see an example of that real and genuine relationship and how I can be fully myself in it- in all moods and thoughts. Relief hey!
Also I'm usually seen as this happy and confident person, always smiling and having fun expressing herself in what she wears- which has also created another expectation of always needing to live up to that. I've realised that if I seem serious or not doing so well- a lot of people notice that. There's nothing wrong with that at all, or with the fact that many might come up to me and ask what's up. But because I actually don't enjoy attention like that from just anyone or discussing my personal feelings in public if it were to lead to a bunch of tears.
What God has challenged me in though, is to not say "I'm good" when I'm actually not, or to put on a smile even if my inside is about to burst in pain. But that I have the freedom to be real and genuine in my emotions, with my facial expressions and in my response to anyone asking me how I'm doing. For me I just need to learn to be honest with myself and other, but to also know how to say politely if I don't actually want to talk about what's going on- not afraid of hurting someone else's heart by denying their care.
I'd say my boyfriend has helped me a lot in learning more about the freedom of being real. Creating a safe space for that and leading in example. I'm most definitely still learning and often falling back into old patterns, but I'm so happy it has come up now in more depth and I'm really challenged to apply what God is showing me- to all areas of me and my relationship with Him.
Jesus was real. He was genuine. He still is all of that. He relates and has become also way more relatable for myself when studying the gospels or seeing the kingdom of God lived out in other books as well. Jesus freely expressed his emotions. The positive ones and the unhappy ones. But he always acted from a motive of love and building others up.
I hope this enourages someone to maybe ask yourself if you've really found freedom in Jesus to be your true self. Maybe there's an area in your life or in your past that you haven't realised is/was lacking the real and raw?
I'd love to hear your thoughts, or perhaps testimonies too related to this topic! Always free to message me.
This is one of MANY things that has come up during this journey so far.
My weekly ministry is working in a local township with youth and I'm really thankful for that experience alongside the studying. I'll probably be teaching there sometimes too, which is a cool challenge and something I'd like to grow in for sure.
Also my work duty is serving the media department of the YWAM base, but right now I'm very dependent on others in the team when it comes to camera equippment, since two pins are down in the SD- card reader on my camera and therefore it is out of use until it gets fixed. Unfortunately its not a priority when it comes to expences right now and no matter how much I love photography and using it to serve and express our (His & mine) creativity, for now I need to humble myself and rely on others to still make that happen. Even using my own camera is a type of comfort zone.
I'm still trusting for about 500€ (550$) by the 13th of December. I have almost all of my fees for the 1st quarter paid off and all I really need now is money for my flight back to South Africa from a Visa run in Madagascar. Then I can go on with the next 3 months! So almost there and just a few weeks to funraise this current need. If you feel like helping out, whether in honor of Christmas or just in feeling lead to do it, I'm super thankful!
Already many have come and encouraged me by their willingness to pitch in and its been a challenging yet humbling time accepting that as well as actually asking people for support.
If you'd like to support me once, now and then, or on a monthly basis- all contributions are welcome!
Details related to that are stated down below:
Thankyou for showing your interest so far in what I'm doing and what God is doing in my life and in the YWAM base here in Muizenberg.
If you have any questions or would like to hear prayer requests/thankyous, then just message me on facebook/instagram or to my email: kata.lahtela@hotmail.com
Thankyouuuu! Enjoy this new upcoming week.
Thankful to God for life right now.
What are you thankful for in this very moment?
- Katarina
These past months have gone by so quickly. Hard to grasp the time hey.
Its been quite the ride for sure. SBS (School of Biblical Studies) has been more than I could've hoped for when it comes to what I've already learned from the books that we've studied so far.
God has challenged me in more ways than one and its brought up a lot of emotions as well as healthy thoughts I think.
One theme, or topic he's been bringing to the surface for me is "being real and genuine". This not implying that I've been a facade haha, but I'll explain.
God has been speaking to me about being real in my wrestle with him. Whether its my emotions and the freedom to express, or being genuine in thankfulness.
Growing up in a very Christian environment has been one of the greatest gifts, yet has brought its own challenges in trying to seperate what I've been told and what I actually believe in myself. (What God has revealed to me personally, instead of what someone else has told me.)
This time in SBS gives me the opportunity to really be able to pin point things I've been told and to then bring those things to God in hopes of Him confirming them for me or for him to reveal something new to me. This I think will lead me into really finding the more intimate and personal aspect on my end of the relationship.
This same Christian environment has always told me specific things to be thankful for, like the food I eat, or the clothes I have or family around me...so whenever I'm told to be thankful and to thank God about things I often find myself feeling pressured to thank for these things and if I don't, then I haven't expressed enough gratitude.
What I've now learned and challenged myself with is taking more time to stop and actually thank God for the things I feel genuinely thankful for. And sometimes I might be feeling extreme gratitude for the food I have or the clothes on my body, but perhaps one day I feel genuine thankfulness for beauty in creation or a good book, or great conversation or paperwork being dealt with successfully and it doesn't mean I have to add the food and clothes to that moment of gratitude. I really don't know where this distorted idea of coming to God in thankfulness came from, but I'm happy its coming up now.
Also this just reminds me of a similar issue with prayer. Sometimes I get frustrated with the term itself, because as a child we see how "the perfect prayer" is "performed". What are powerful words to use- what is the spiritual vocabulary, when to use which tone of voice, what names of God to use etc. And it can become challenging to make the switch once you make the decision to follow Jesus for yourself. So these days I might just say "talking to Jesus" instead of "prayer" just to keep it in a genuine place and centered in an actual intimate friendship and relationship. Not saying the term always gets to me, because sometimes its just easier for some reason to still keep it personal even if the term is still there haha. Sorry if this seems confusing for you.
Another thing related to being real and genuine.
That same Christian environment has created expectations for myself to be the perfect Christian. This a result of actually being called by that title and people coming to me for prayer and advice and making it harder for myself to actually wrestle with God in the open. But my friend said something really wise the other day. She said that I shouldn't worry too much about my wrestle becoming someone else's wrestle, because God is with that person as well and who seeks- will find.
I really want to believe that.
No one's faith depends on mine- even when discipling people. It can actually be more loving towards others to have the freedom to be honest with my doubts or the things of God that I don't really understand, since then they can actually see an example of that real and genuine relationship and how I can be fully myself in it- in all moods and thoughts. Relief hey!
Also I'm usually seen as this happy and confident person, always smiling and having fun expressing herself in what she wears- which has also created another expectation of always needing to live up to that. I've realised that if I seem serious or not doing so well- a lot of people notice that. There's nothing wrong with that at all, or with the fact that many might come up to me and ask what's up. But because I actually don't enjoy attention like that from just anyone or discussing my personal feelings in public if it were to lead to a bunch of tears.
What God has challenged me in though, is to not say "I'm good" when I'm actually not, or to put on a smile even if my inside is about to burst in pain. But that I have the freedom to be real and genuine in my emotions, with my facial expressions and in my response to anyone asking me how I'm doing. For me I just need to learn to be honest with myself and other, but to also know how to say politely if I don't actually want to talk about what's going on- not afraid of hurting someone else's heart by denying their care.
I'd say my boyfriend has helped me a lot in learning more about the freedom of being real. Creating a safe space for that and leading in example. I'm most definitely still learning and often falling back into old patterns, but I'm so happy it has come up now in more depth and I'm really challenged to apply what God is showing me- to all areas of me and my relationship with Him.
Jesus was real. He was genuine. He still is all of that. He relates and has become also way more relatable for myself when studying the gospels or seeing the kingdom of God lived out in other books as well. Jesus freely expressed his emotions. The positive ones and the unhappy ones. But he always acted from a motive of love and building others up.
I hope this enourages someone to maybe ask yourself if you've really found freedom in Jesus to be your true self. Maybe there's an area in your life or in your past that you haven't realised is/was lacking the real and raw?
I'd love to hear your thoughts, or perhaps testimonies too related to this topic! Always free to message me.
This is one of MANY things that has come up during this journey so far.
My weekly ministry is working in a local township with youth and I'm really thankful for that experience alongside the studying. I'll probably be teaching there sometimes too, which is a cool challenge and something I'd like to grow in for sure.
Also my work duty is serving the media department of the YWAM base, but right now I'm very dependent on others in the team when it comes to camera equippment, since two pins are down in the SD- card reader on my camera and therefore it is out of use until it gets fixed. Unfortunately its not a priority when it comes to expences right now and no matter how much I love photography and using it to serve and express our (His & mine) creativity, for now I need to humble myself and rely on others to still make that happen. Even using my own camera is a type of comfort zone.
I'm still trusting for about 500€ (550$) by the 13th of December. I have almost all of my fees for the 1st quarter paid off and all I really need now is money for my flight back to South Africa from a Visa run in Madagascar. Then I can go on with the next 3 months! So almost there and just a few weeks to funraise this current need. If you feel like helping out, whether in honor of Christmas or just in feeling lead to do it, I'm super thankful!
Already many have come and encouraged me by their willingness to pitch in and its been a challenging yet humbling time accepting that as well as actually asking people for support.
If you'd like to support me once, now and then, or on a monthly basis- all contributions are welcome!
Details related to that are stated down below:
Katarina Lahtela
FI29 5290 0220 4222 63
(name of bank: Keski Suomen Osuuspankki)
PayPal:
Katarina Lahtela:
PayPal.Me/llaurakatarina
Also if you'd like to support others in my school, or me- but anonymously, you can send your support in via the YWAM Muizenberg account:
Account name: Youth With A Mission
Bank name: Standard Bank of South Africa
Branch: Blue Route
Branch Code: 025 609
Account number: 072 032 901
SWIFT (BIN) Code: SBZAZAJJ
Bank address:
Standard Bank of South Africa
Cnr Vans & Tokai Roads
Tokai, Cape Town
Western Cape, ZA
7950
(just remember to state September SBS or Katarina Lahtela SBS whether its the school you're helping out, or me individually)
Thankyou for showing your interest so far in what I'm doing and what God is doing in my life and in the YWAM base here in Muizenberg.
If you have any questions or would like to hear prayer requests/thankyous, then just message me on facebook/instagram or to my email: kata.lahtela@hotmail.com
Thankyouuuu! Enjoy this new upcoming week.
Thankful to God for life right now.
What are you thankful for in this very moment?
- Katarina
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